so here i am. looking at life on a spending hiatus. The spirit told me that it was time to stop spending. It was ok to get the house put together, but now i'm just being picky. So, I'm stopping.

I'm ready to figure out food. A two week plan and schedule including when i shop and schedule deliveries.

I'm ready to focus on spirituality in my family, in my home. Reading scriptures, chores and money from the parenting breakthrough.

i'm also ready to work hard in my calling. spend time on it during the week.

Parking Nazi next door.

This morning Doug's friend, Clint Kasparian, parked in front of our neighbors driveway to go somewhere with doug. when they came back the neighbor was waiting and approached them very aggressively, cussing them out and shouting and pointing fingers. Doug walked closer to get in his face and the guy shoved Doug. They shouted some more about who parks where and it's been 17 years since he lived here.

doug came inside and went out again and the guy was calling me an a-hole so doug almost punched the guy. he was so MAd. i went out and started yelling, too. I called him the parking police, the parking nazi and then the best one ever....the jewel of the neighborhood.

this all stems from the last encounter i had with that guy. when doug was gone and our car doors stopped working, so i parked in front of his house until i could pull the car out. simon and penny were sitting on the lawn, i was stressed and freaked out trying to get to Sophie in time. He came out yelling at me

am i a time waster? when things are a disaster, i'm going from morning til night. now that things are a little more organized and i have a plan in mind, i think i'm actually a lazy person. must fight this. must.

living room needs to be pulled together. how do i do that?

It's saturday. did the entire week go by with no journaling? Well, i've had a few a-ha's this week.

1. cleaners every other friday

2. clean car while cleaners are here every other friday.

3. spend less on food

4. food delivery on wednesday

going to follow the boyak plan to help kids learn skills

need to finish nuture shock. especially for owen.

Music: I love it

And, I'm stagnant. I want to find a new artist every month? Week? and listen to it all week. New stuff. Loving what i'm finding on the interweb. Want to incorporate.

Even if it's new tracks.....or old ones from the archives?

change

Things that seem impossible

I have a huge list of things that seem impossible. Although, i have great faith that in Christ all things are possible. I have experienced this first hand so many times. so here's my list.

1. Becoming an early riser: I am pretty grumpy in the morning. I don't think i show it, but i'm not the mom that is awake and in the kitchen when the family wakes up. I'd like to be, though. I have one more year until we have to get sophie to seminary, all the way up the hill. That is my deadline. To become an early riser by then.

2. Laundry: Too many clothes. that's just it. we have too many clothes. I need a laundry schedule that i STICK to.

3. Reading the Scriptures everyday with the Family: Following Grandma's challenge and finishing the book of mormon with the family seems impossible. I'm trying to identify why.

• We aren't early risers.
• I'm really tired at night.
• Doug doesn't head it up either, so i let it slide. I think we're going to regret this one if we don't fix it!

Now, The Plan:

1. Put myself in order. What is it going to take to pray and read my scriptures daily. WHAT???

2) Make a schedule and stick to it. How you gonna do this when our lives are anything but scheduled. or is this just my excuse. everything except Doug's schedule is pretty consistent. Have to be better at homemaking when doug is around. I'm much, much better about it on my own. NEED to fix that.

3) Rewards? hmm. will have to think about that.

4) Also, approach Doug about making a goal to pray together every day. just us.

what a surprise.

It all worked out. Heavenly Father definitely helps me every day. Although, i'm not sure I can muster enough to get to the valentines day party.

Doug is working today. We took owen to his swim lessons this morning, left sophie here by herself so Heidi hertford could come over and help her practice.

when we got home, i fed and put simon down, made chicken salad sandwiches for lunch, finally got penny down. sophie arranged a ride to her basketball game. As soon as she was out the door, i was hitting the sack for a little nap.

But then, i remembered that we have SNACK! argh!! i'm so pissed. now i have to take everyone to the store!!! and up the stairs to the game. uh, i could just die. blah.

Sunday

Owen bore his testimony today. I did, too, but it was Owen's testimony that had me feeling so happy.

It was about 4 minutes past the time we should be ending and there was somebody still talking at the pulpit. Owen comes over while he's eating some of Penny's apple slices.

He said, " I want to bear my testimony." All casual-like.

"Really? Hmmm. It's pretty late now do you want to wait until next time?" I tried to coax. (shame on me.)

"No, I want to go today."

"Well, ok. Go on up and sit by Dad."

Owen bears his testimony a lot. He is really thoughtful and quite sincere when he does it.

Once about Prayers being answered after he slept in his bed all night and prayed for heavenly Father's help to do it

Once about Families being together forever.

And yesterday he said something like,

"Hi my name is Owen and i want to bear my testimony that God lives."

I can't remember the rest, i'll have to see if Doug remembers. Oh, it was sweet. HE made me so proud.

Doug

doing better, yet something still seems far off.

In life, in love.

we'll get there.

sophina bina

Well, oh well. Miss sophie is about to get her period. she is starting to carry around pads just in case. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! what am i going to do? oh, be the mom of a teenage, that's what.

She would kill me for writing that. good thing she'll probably never read it.

she's doing extremely well in school, great test scores, is so helpful at home and is just such a wonderful kid.

Her room is usually a disaster, though. clothes all over the place, she rarely plays the piano and that makes me nuts.

but i always make sure she got her HUG from me each day. at night i'll ask her and then give her a squeeze, just so she knows i love her.

O-boy

He is a TALKER right now. oh, man alive, he'll tell you about every favorite part of every favorite video game, cartoon, movie and all at wierd times. when things are crazy.

He's taking drum lessons from Mr. Lee. Doug brought home a drum {from Aunt Lori} set so we'll see how he like that. He's pretty rhythmic and musical. he's got that math brain.

He's such a naturally smart boy. he's logical. he's on his mulitplication tables. x2, x5 AND x10's.

He asked Doug to call some of his friends so they could make a video game. Not a Big one like halo, of course. just a little one so it wouldn't take very long. So Cute. i love that kid. Hope i can help him be a really good man someday.

Pickle

NOOOOOOOOOO!, she says in a high pitched angry voice.

This is our Penny right now. It's like she now knows right when i'm not paying attention or responding right away and she lets me know.

We're doing Maggy Haves toddler class, on tues/thurs now. i absolutely adore it. It stops my crazy world a bit and while penny is along for the ride most of the time, that 2 hours is all about her. as if she's the only baby in our family. it's so nice.

And it is a scheduling nightmare. it might kill me.

Lefty, dubya or scarface....you choose

Simon is such a joy. He is 5 months now. He talks and laughs and entertains himself for hours.

I was talking to Samantha today, she sleep trained her 6 week old by letting her cry for 45 minutes for 3 nights in a row. the baby then slept 8 hours, woke up to eat and then slept for another 4. I said that simon was up all night (an exaggeration, of course) and she asked me, " don't you sleep train?"

And i didn't have a good answer. with sophie, no sleep training at all and we regretted it. so with owen we were nazi's. or at least i thought we were but looking back i think he was just a very easy baby! I didn't have to have him cry it out until he was much older!

With Penny, she was spoiled but slept alot of the night but not all the way through until 12 months.

Anyway, i thought and thought and couldn't figure out why i felt like the doof for not making my kid scream for 45 min. but i don't want to do that, i don't need him to do that. Is that even ok these days???

He is such a good baby and gets the remnants of my attention, mostly when he eats, and is happy and gets awakened from naps on a regular basis and is always in some kind of chair, the exersaucer chair, the high chair, the bebe pod chair, the car seat... going here and there, following kids around or going on mamas shopping trips. At night it's like our time. he likes to sleep with me and i like nursing him. just mama and simon. no one competing for my attention. he gets it all. ok, so i'm usually half asleep but i still love it. i love him and have not even the teeniest tiniest bit of desire to make him cry it out right now. maybe someday, not now.

I just put him down and once he's swaddled, i put that binky in his mouth and he kind of turns his head to the side and closes his eyes. agh, he's wonderful.