I'm kinda bugged

This summer i wanted to get a playgound system for the back yard. something the kids could play on that isn't the tramp. so i mentioned it when beth and rachel were over one day. i know i have a complex about not having toys to play with when friends come over. doug doesn't get it. but you need toys to play with, a yard only just doesn't do it. anyway, today brandon said they found a play ground for their back yard. and it's huge and has everything included. probably abnoxious but if they get one i KNOW doug won't get one. buggy. and of course it was on craigslist for 350 but because rachel wrote their sob story and the lady just LOOOVED her so they got it for half price or something. whatever.

more about simon

so he's crawling all over and pulling up on everything. it's so cute but it so frustrating because he falls all over the place, too. his feet don't work (walk) but his upper body is so strong. any way, it's adorable.

last night he started crying around 12:30. i was up watching tons of TV. Dancing with the Stars, American Idol, Ugly Betty, the middle, cougartown. i told you it was a ton. anyway, i was still awake when he started crying. i decided i was going to let him cry it out. he got louder and louder and wasn't calming down so i went in there and he was standing up holding onto the crib facing the wall in the dark. so sad. i picked him up and his fingers were caught in between the crib rail and the wall. no wonder he was SO sad. so i brought him into bed and nursed him and nuzzled him and he woke up with big bright eyes. doug and i played with him and he was being so funny. we videoed a little and then i was really tired but he was all rested. but all i had to do was take him back into the dark room and he fell asleep. like he knew it was still night and that's what you're supposed to do at night. we had a little party in our bed while everyone else was sleeping. yummy. That's how good this boy is. so unbelievable good natured and smiley.

simon is clapping today

and spitting raspberries. so cute. we've been doing patty cake and he's clapping. this little one is reminding me of sophie.

Went to see 'letters to god' tonight with robyn. She starred in the movie and it was so so sad. about a boy who dies of cancer. got me thinking a lot of how terrible cancer is. horrible, terrible. the things people endure seem too much. i thank heavenly father for my life and my family.

bigger and bigger

3 days ago he pulled up on the crib rail. I left him sitting and when I came back, he was smiling and standing!

don't wanna do anything today. burned out already? weird. just so much stuff. what do i need to do to get a handle on the stuff? actually, it's the clothes that are so difficult now. so many clothes. don't know what to do. feel slow and sleepy, but not exhausted like the last two weeks, more like afraid to put 100% because i know how tired and headachey i was the last two weeks. it was hard and terrible.

Conference

Wonderful Easter sunday with conference. many great talks. many about trials. overwhelmingly about trials. not looking forward to what's ahead. my thoughs this morning: try to find happiness, try to find self-confidence. try to find the good in me.

Simon is nearly legitimately crawling. pulling his upper body up on things, making his bum stick high in the air. trying to pull up. so cute. more teeth, i think 5 now. so happy and giggly. love him, love him, love him.

note to self:

April Conference morning:

Muffins/bagels/juice and fruit.

Then a bike ride,

Then come home for chicken sandwiches on croissants (make chicken salad night before)

Easter Morning:

Family basket; mini eggs, something for everyone, malt ball eggs

Breakfast: