new year, new start

december is coming to a close.  2012 is just around the corner. I really, REALLY want this to be a good year.  2011 has been really horrible, the worst in many, many years.  i almost can't even read the entries below and i can totally see why i stopped writing in this journal.  


But much has changed and we have worked on so many things.  we are ready for a new start. 


Just read the Prophets message on lds.org.  and it was PERFECT for me.  PERFECT. 


The ABCs of Living the Abundant Life




A-Attitude


The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”¹  
       
I believe this whole-heartedly!




<sup>B- Believe in yourself


You can achieve what you believe you can. Trust and believe and have faith</sup>

C- Courage

Courage is required to make an initial thrust toward one’s coveted goal, but even greater courage is called for when one stumbles and must make a second effort to achieve.

Have the determination to make the effort, the single-mindedness to work toward a worthy goal, and the courage not only to face the challenges that inevitably come but also to make a second effort, should such be required. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, “I’ll try again tomorrow.”

So, in light of Pres. Monson's challenge, i put forth my goals for 2012.

Get out of debt and be more righteous

I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!!

So, how do i do this?

Debt- monitor spending. spend less, put money where it should go first.  shop later. 

Righteous- pray daily with this song in mind: 'all over the world at the end of day, heavenly father's children kneel down to pray, each saying thank you in their own special way, saying thank you, thank you in their own special way. 

9 at 9 as MUCH AS POSSIBLE.  FINISH BOM BY END OF SCHOOL YEAR.

Read RS lessons for sunday. 

doug has gone to Italy and it has been a hurricane of emotions for me. We have a lot of baggage associated with this group

1. i feel jealous that he is there and i am not. i got the first pictures of everyone on a boat and his feet were sticking into the image and i wanted to punch him in the face. it was a

doug gone day 1

Today sucked. its only 5pm but it's sucked.

after taking sophie to target for a new swimsuit this morning, and pulling out money for her to go to hurricane harbor and giving her money for the movies last night, i was pretty bugged. bugged that i don't say no and that i shell out money right and left for that girl.

then we went to ikea to get new sheets. i hate our white sheets so much.

anti-muse

I've been glum lately. in a funk and really really down. about marriage mostly. about me and doug.

jealous of his doug/kat thing. even though i really like her and her family i've felt threatened. and i know it's because we are missing the 'it' in our marriage.

a muse is a source of inspiration. sophie is a muse. (right now they're writing an impromptu song) kat is a muse, i am not his muse. Why am i not in there with them?? not in photography (as i'm not photogenic) and not in much else creative.

i am the anti-muse.

h h p-=x y \-vp-;u'

This morning Doug left to go on an overnight photo trip with Kat. we fought about it on wednesday, he lamely attempted to get adam johnson to go, had an awkward conversation with kat about that and she said she'd rather not have a chaperone.

''''hjhjjugygyuy

today

today Baylen Johnson, owen's bestest friend in the whole wide world, was baptized. Yesterday, bart called and asked if owen would give a little talk on his baptism, maybe just talking about his own baptism.

He sat down at the computer this morning, i was out talking to rachel and he would yell out to me, MOM. i need you to help me write my talk!

so once i finally came in i found him at he computer with a new document open and about 4 lines written in a really special font that he found and choose especially for the baptism. or maybe he just liked it, i don't know.

anyway, so i helped him finish by asking qustions and then typing word for word what his answers.

and then today, we were supposed ot go see sophie at her choir competition thing and got everoyone real

More words! He now says, Kippa for Kipper. Yo yo gabba for yo gabba gabba.

cheese for a picture, and he holds out my iphone and then has to look at the back of the camera when it's all done to see himself.

i love this boy. he is so amiable. he is so special. he loves me.