i need to stop spending money. i'm spending money we do NOT have. so much in taxes, so much in debt, so much to pay every month!!! what am i doing??? it's being skinny now and not looking cute for 2 years. ive seriously got a problem. and i can't decide if it feels like more because of all the buying and taking back or if it's just more more more!!! its like i'm trying to be something were not. wealthy. dangerous! if i take back the home goods stuff and i send back the dresses. i could even take back a bracelet for the wedding it would more than cover the cost of the boots. sophie is going to die. i buy so much stuff and then make a big deal whenever she wants something. maybe if i let her wear my uggs she will feel ok.

penny is crying like crazy in her crib right now. i don't know why its so hard for her to go to sleep. i wish she would just stop. doug knows how to put her down without any crying going on. tonight i make a fatal mistake. i gave her a bottle with water in it. now nothing less will do. not juice or milk in a cup

just asked owen if he still like his teacher. his response, " well, she's still nice even if she does get a little furious sometimes." at least he doesn't have mrs. clark, caden's teacher. (he wanted me to include that in my journal)

I just bought him some star wars toys on craigslist. awesome awesome ships and guys with light sabers, etc. he loves them. oh owen. i could go on about all my kids. i worry about owen the most right now. he's in the middle and gets lost sometimes.