so now, today

there was a ton of meyhem with my trip to New York. I realized that the kids are out of school and that maya's baptism is on the 18 so mom and dad couldnt come down and watch the kids anyway. so then i decided to check out flights from vegas on virgin america. turns out there are really cheap flights with 3 full days in new york for super super cheap. but i had already bought my other ticket. so now i have spent a total of 700 dollars getting there and i am feeling really really guilty. we have no money. i am seriously interested in cutting back all spending. i spent so much on fixing up the house, just when i should have been spending nothing at all. i did the opposite. i am so happy and content with the house now that it is hard to begrudge it but i hate all that debt sitting out there. ugh... the burtons are coming to new york which is so awesome and perfect except for the fact that they have money and they totally know how to blow it out. we've been talking all day about how were going to blow it out in new york and i feel like i have been lying to myself or pretending with her. blah......... cant get a good read from doug, he is busy. i am sure he hates me spending more money. i miss him. it is only day 3.